Friday, July 3, 2009

Hanging Out With the Girls

First time in awhile since I could just "hang out."
Here are some pictures.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Best News Ever!... well recently

Yesterday, I finally found out where I'm going to be stationed for my first base. I was doing my normal routine of logging into my portal, and there it was.. I'm going to Japan!
I am super excited ( I don't know if you can really even use the two together, but I just did), it's only an hour and a half away from Tokyo. I never thought that I would have an opportunity like this ever, and now, it's sitting right in front of me.
I don't care if I have to seclude myself from people, I'm going to do extra studies and any extra practice for my classes so I can become really good at my skill... I don't want anything to ruin this for me, this is seriously the opportunity of a lifetime.
I have until September to start learning Japanese and trying to learn their culture (I figure if I'm going to be living in the country, I might as well try right?).
That is all I have left to say.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Day Off

Yesterday, we didn't have any classes and we were supposed to wake up at 4:30 a.m. to do pt and then spend the rest of the day cleaning up around our dorms and doing marching drills. Everybody was dreading Friday and was wishing it would just be over already.
When we woke up and formed up downstairs, everyone was super tired and not in the best of moods. Our MTL came and told us that she decided she was going to give us a day off and that we could all go back to bed, the second she said that, everyone ran back inside and went to bed.
Yesterday was just like a weekend, and it was sooooooooooo relaxing. I slept in until 8:30 a.m. and then I got up, did my positive thinking meditation, took a long relaxing bath, got ready for my day and then I just hung out.
That girl I had mentioned in the previous blog had to do CQ duty, so I decided I was going to go to the bowling alley. I had such a good time there. Everyone was talking to me, I met new people, there was no negative energy what-so-ever.
I would have to say that so far with my time here, last night was one of the best nights I've had... hopefully tonight will be just as good.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Seeing Things for What They Really Are

This past weekend, my eyes were opened to a new light. People I thought I could trust, people I thought I could rely on turned out to be two-faced backstabbers. Whenever I meet new people, I like to give them little tests to see if I can trust them or not (of course they don't know about it). I will do little things like tell them things (maybe true or not) and tell them not to tell anyone (of course these are things I wouldn't care if anybody else found out, but I make it seem like a big deal and like I would mind just to see if they are trust worthy people.
Anyways, I mentioned to this girl that I've been hanging out with that I had a crush on this guy in my flight, but not to say anything because I didn't want things to get weird or akward.
I left her alone with the guy shortly after I had told her, and she decided she was going to tell him what I had just said. Of course this guy wasn't into me, and that is ok, like I said before, I only thought he was cute... I'm not into him like that. At least this guy is cool enough to not make things weird, but that doesn't change the fact that if I can't trust this girl with something as small and stupid as me having a crush on someone, then obviously, she's not a trust worthy person.
Later on, that guy ended up leaving and we were talking to some other guys. I deffinately wasn't into them, but I was having a good time and didn't mind talking to them. I had to go to the bathroom, and while I was gone she told one of the guys that I was just out looking to get layed. Apparantly, he told her that he wasn't into that sort of thing, and now I have some random stranger thinking that I'm a slut.
Of course, while I was at the bowling alley I had no idea she was saying or doing this stuff, it wasn't until after she whined and complained to go back and we were walking that she told me. I asked her why she did and said all of that stuff. She said she wasn't doing anything wrong and that I shouldn't worry about what those guys think about me anyways.
After that night, I decided I'm not going to hang out with her anymore. This girl is bad news, if I keep hanging out with her, I'm going to get into some serious trouble that may even ruin my military career... which would ruin any chance of getting a decent job... I do not want that to happen.
During the week, I started talking to a few people about my decision, and I found out some more things that I did not know. I found out that because I was hanging out with this girl, people put me in a group with her as a trouble causer and someone that they needed to keep an eye on. People also decided they weren't going to hang out with me because I was hanging out with her and that they might get in trouble.
The less I hang out with her, I've been able to see her for what she really is. I've been able to see how bad it would've been for me to continue to hang out with her. Also, since I don't hang out with her anymore, more people are coming up to me and talking to me.
Sometimes in life when things are going wrong, you have to take a closer look at things and decided if there is something you can change.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Always Think Positively

Just in short, I want to say that it really does work when you think positively.
I've been doing these positive thinking meditations every morning when I wake up, and everyday that I do them, I feel a lot better.
Yesterday, I told myself that I am going to have a good day and nothing is going to change it. I was right, I ran 16 laps on the track and I got all of my homework complete (I am now ahead of the game). I also attracted the attention of a few guys (I like it when that happens... it makes me happy lol), and I behaved myself and didn't eat any fatty foods. So word to the wise from the newly wise (aka me), think positively, and your life will be much better.

Lost in the Woods

I’ve been at tech school for about a week now, and I really like it, Maryland is such a pretty state. Since I’ve been here, I’ve met a lot of cool people (mainly because most of them are in photography classes and I let them use me as a subject). The other day, one of the girls I met went hiking in the woods with me. We had never been on this trail, and we wanted to check it out (yes, Basic Training made me like hiking in the woods).
For the first little bit, we were smart and stayed on the paths marked out for us, but then it had been forever, and we decided to find a short cut back out of the woods. We got off the path and started exploring on our own. We ended up on a golf course, but then the golfers were yelling at us to get out of the way (good thing, because I’m pretty sure nobody wants to get hit in the head with a golf ball), so we ran back into the woods.
We started freaking out a little, because we couldn’t find a path and there was all of these deer running around. We started walking into the woods hoping to come upon a path, and we saw a fox (at least we hoped it was a fox and not a wolf or coyote). We finally found a path and started walking on it and then it just stopped. Since we were already lost, we decided to keep walking in that direction anyways. We ended up on another path, and I got excited because I thought it was a familiar path we were on earlier.
Turns out, it wasn’t, but we did find a really neat bridge with a creek running underneath it. We stayed along that path hoping that eventually it would lead us out or to another path. We came upon this broken bridge and had to walk through a bunch of mud (it was gross), but eventually we ended back on a familiar path.
We were lost for about two and a half hours, but we finally made it out of the woods. The moral of the story is that you should always stay on the marked paths if you don’t want to get lost in the woods or end up in a real life scenario of one of those horror movies.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

2 Months of Basic Training in a Nutshell

I finally made it through my 8 weeks of Basic Training, and I will tell you, it was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. My first night, as soon as I got to the airport, I had someone yelling at me to hurry up. When I got on the bus that would take me to my new home for the next two months, I had someone yelling at me to hurry and get off the bus. When I took my first shower, I was surrounded by a bunch of naked chics (don’t get excited… it was not fun at all) and some crazy lady telling us to hurry and get out of the shower… and we had only been in there for a minute and a half.
The next day was my birthday and I had someone yelling at me because I couldn’t march (I soon got used to that, because I still can’t march). My recruiter told me to pack light because I’m not going to need much of my civilian stuff and everything I did need would be provided or easy for me to purchase, so I was wearing the same outfit for 3 days (that did not make me happy, but I soon learned to deal with that as well).
Our third day of Basic Training, we finally got issued our uniforms, and that was not fun at all. I had these ladies that hated life and gave me uniforms that were so big on me that all I had to do was slide them on (no unbuttoning necessary) and pull my belt super tight. Eating was not a fun experience, we seriously had only about five minutes to drink three glasses of water and eat whatever we could (I soon learned how to just swallow my food… no chewing necessary).
All of that stuff above, we were considered zero weekers, that didn’t even count as a week, even though it was a week we had gone through all of that stuff. When we were considered first weekers, we had to wear tennis shoes with our uniform, and that drove me insane because they didn’t even match (I got used to that as well because I soon learned that tennis shoes are way more comfortable than the boots we have to wear).
After about the third week, things started to get a little easy and flow a little more smoothly. We got ten minutes to eat instead of five and sometimes at dinner we would get twenty minutes to eat (when all you’re getting is five minutes, twenty minutes feels like an eternity). During our fourth week, we got to do fun stuff like the obstacle course, getting our name tags (that’s when you officially become someone other than just female or male), and getting our blues issued to us. The only thing that really sucked about fourth week was when we had to go to the gas chamber (not fun).
When we reached fifth week, we got our flight pictures and individual pictures taken and got to wear make up for the first time since we had been there (trust me, that is the most exciting thing ever when you’re a girly girl like me). We also got to go to the shooting range and shoot our M16s, that was actually a lot of fun, even though it was rainy and muddy (I pushed my limits and let myself get a little dirty, and I let a little bit of a tomboy come out… seriously a big deal if you know me).
Sixth week, we went to what we refer to as BEAST, we had to sleep in tents on cots. This was the hardest part for me, I am not a camper, and I’m not really too big on the outdoors. We also had to go through an obstacle course that involved high crawling 300 meters up a hill with a 45 degree angle, low crawling through a small area with netting you could get stuck in if you didn’t do it right, and building a temper tent (I pushed myself to my limit that time).
Seventh week was full of a bunch of classes and we got to wear our blues for the first time (that was exciting because we were finally getting respect). We also got to go to the shooting range again, but this time we were shooting M9s, and I decided I liked them so much that eventually I’m going to purchase one (yeah, they are that cool).
Eighth week was our final week, that was when our tech school locations and jobs were finalized, we got to stop wearing our satchels (these awful bags we had to carry everywhere), and we got to graduate and have these amazing ceremonies (a lot of marching and drill involved but we all did good). Our parents were allowed to come out to watch that and we were allowed to leave the base and go shopping (that was so overwhelming, I didn’t know where to begin, I was like a kid in the candy store). The following Monday, we all got to ship out to our tech schools and say goodbye to Basic Training.
In the end, I can say that was probably one of the best experiences I had. I pushed myself to my limits and accomplished things I never thought I could. I went outside my comfort zone and did what I had to do to make it through. In my opinion I became a better and stronger person because of it, and I wouldn’t take any of it back for anything.

Saturday, March 21, 2009


I'm going to post some "before" photos before I leave for basic training. This will be the last blog I write for at least 2 months. When I am able to start taking pictures and use the internet again, I will post some "after" pictures so you can see how much I have changed.

A Nice Little Day

Yesterday, I had my meeting with my recruiter, and there was a girl that had just gotten done with her basic training and her tech school. She told me all about how basic was for her, and she gave me suggestions on what to eat so I don't get sick and I can get done fast.
She told me how during the first couple of weeks, everyone is still in shock and super stressed, but after that, it's not so bad. She told me that basic is meant to try to break you, that they only treat you like they do to see if you can handle it and pay attention to detail... if you can't, then why are you joining the air force?
Basically, it's about how bad you want something. This is something I really want, it's going to do a lot for me and get me far in life. Ever time things get hard, I'm going to have to remind myself how bad I want it and let myself remember that I can handle it.
After my meeting, I had lunch with my friend Savannah at this fish restaurant called McGrath's. They had some of the best food I've had in awhile. Not only that, the owner gave us this survey to take and we got free desert.. best part of the lunch lol. Next, we went shopping.. and everybody should know by now how much I love to shop.
I came home afterwards and checked all of my mail. My friend Katie J had uploaded a bunch of pictures of me while I was away in California and I saw the results and loved them. So I spent the next couple hours putting them on my profiles and then showing my mom.
Later on that night, my parents took me out to eat just because they want to spend some extra time with me before I leave. We had a nice dinner, just the three of us. It was only 9:00pm when we got home, but I was so tired.
Even though I felt like an old person, I decided to go to bed, because I'm going to need all of the sleep I can get this weekend because when I go to basic, I won't be sleeping very much.

Leaving L.A.

My time in Cali came and went... too fast. I had such a good time, I spent a lot of time with my friends and we did a lot of shopping, and there wasn't a night that we didn't go out. There was nothing to stress about the whole time I was there. There wasn't a single moment that I wished I was home, in fact it was the opposite, every single moment I was wishing I didn't have to go home.
Thursday, my friend Brandi, drove me to the airport. We were there an hour before my flight was supposed to take off and they wouldn't let me check in. The lady at the counter told me that they flight was overbooked and I couldn't get on. Then when I asked if there were any other flights out that night (because I needed to get back that night since I had a meeting with my recruiter the next morning), the lady told me there was only one other one, and that one was overbooked as well. My friend was outside waiting by the curb to make sure that I could get on my plane, I went out and told her the situation. She told me to wait by her car and she went in to go try to talk to someone about getting a refund or somehow getting on another plane. Long story short, they told her there was nothing they could do. They weren't able to give her a refund, they couldn't get me on the next plane, and any flights the next day would cost extra. My friend was super pissed off... so pissed off in fact that she was even considering driving me back to Utah rather than buy another ticket from them.
Luckily, her husband was on the phone working out a deal and he got me a cheap ticket on another airline, unfortunately it was one of those open seating flights full of a bunch of screaming kids.. but I guess it was better than nothing.
When it came time to board the plane, I was one of the last to board because my ticket was last minute, so when I got on the plane, my only choice was sitting next to a boy that was probably in 5th grade or sitting by some lady and her baby. I opted for the 5th grader thinking that he was old enough to not bother me.
Once the plane got into the air, the boy took his shoes and socks off and his dad started rubbing one of his feet, then the boy put his other foot on me and asked me to rub it. I was like NO WAY!
That was the grossest thing ever. I hate feet and this kid is asking me to touch his, I don't think so.
As if that little incident wasn't bad enough, the kid fell asleep on me on the plane. I tried pushing him off but he kept falling back on me. I should have just woke him up and told him to stop sleeping on me, but that plane was full of very family oriented people who like kids (if you catch my drift) and would've been pissed off at me and yelled at me for yelling at this kid who was drooling all over me.
Finally, the plane landed, but this guy was one of those guys that liked to get off last, so I sat pressed up against the window for an hour and a half waiting for idiots who didn't know how to get off a frickin plane. When I got to the escalators at the airport, I just stood on the step and let it take me down. This kid (well not really) who had to be in high school or slightly older, came running down behind me and bumped into me with his bag. I was so irritated with having to be back in Utah and the way my flight had gone by this point that I pushed him and he tripped and fell. He looked up at me with a "why would you do that?" look and all I said was, "excuse you!"
My dad was there to pick me up, and we got on the shuttle that takes us to the parking lot. When it came to our stop I had to wait for this super fat guy to get his luggage and get off. While he was picking his luggage up, he farted in my face! I was so pissed, and I felt like I was going to throw up.
Ugh... you see the effect Utah has on people?

St. Patrick's Day

Living in Utah gave me the tendency to forget how much fun St. Patrick's Day could be. While I was visiting friends in California, we went down to Santa Barbara. There were streets closed off for parades, and there were booths with all kinds of St. Patrick's day stuff. Not only that, all of the bars were opened up at noon and people were getting started early.
At about 3:00pm, my friends and I decided to eat at this little cafe. While we were eating, this lady who was probably in her 50's and totally wasted walked by, tripped on the curb, did a backwards somersault into the street, tried to get up, fell back down and brushed away some guy trying to help her up... talk about dinner entertainment lol.
After we were done eating, we went back to our hotel to get ready to go out for the night.
Another thing I forgot was so amazing is the fact that you don't have to pay cover to get into bars in California. In Utah, you have to pay cover to get into everywhere, and you have to have a membership or your money there is no good (lame... I think they dropped the membership thing now, but I'm not sure), so I stopped going. Also, in Utah, guys don't buy girls drinks, they're kinda cheap... in California, guys will line up to buy you a drink... oh how I miss it lol.
We went to about six different bars, and they were all different from the last. The first bar was super crowded and you could hardly move. We stayed there long enough to get drinks, finish and leave. The next bar was pretty much empty. We stayed there for awhile, but it was so boring I thought I was going to die. After that, we went to this London Pub bar, and that has to have been the worst. Everybody there was 40 or older... talk about lame.
There were a couple bars that had lines to get in, but they weren't that long, and we didn't really wait... they sorta just let us in. The last bar was probably the best. It wasn't too crowded, but there were hot guys everywhere. They had pool tables, so there were hot guys playing pool. They had a beer pong table, so of course there were hot guys playing. There was a jukebox in the corner surrounded by hot guys. The bouncer was hot, the bartender was hot, the guys coming in were hot, and the guys standing around outside were hot.
St. Patrick's Day was the best, and it was a great vacation before I leave for my basic training on Tuesday.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Tomorrow I Leave

I leave for California tomorrow, and I can't wait. Time seems to be moving by so slow, minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days.
I've procrastinated and haven't started packing yet, I better do that soon so I don't miss my flight or end up without something I need. I'll get back to you with the list a little later.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Random Thought Before I go to Bed

I have about 2 weeks left before I leave for my basic training, and I am super excited, I can't wait. Since there is not much time left before I leave, I have been super busy making sure that everything is in order and everything is working out right.
Next week, I am going to visit my friend in California for a couple of days, and I really really need the vacation.
With everything that is going on right now, vacation is probably the best thing that could happen to me at the moment.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Trying on the Uniform

Yesterday, my dad took me to a military clothing store and had me try on the different uniforms I would be wearing. I tried on the camouflage one and I found out that the pants go over your stomach, I also found out that the pants run super small.
When I had the whole outfit on, my dad took some pictures... I don't like them, I think I look ridiculous, but at least you can still tell I'm a girl in the uniform (some girls are quite questionable).
Next, I tried on the dress uniform, I liked that one on me a lot better. I looked really good in that one, the only thing I didn't like is that since those pants are also high waisted, they make my butt look long and droopy (trust me, my butt is not long and droopy), and I did not like the hat. There's a name given to the hat you have to wear with that uniform and it's awful. When I put the hat on, I understood why it was given that name... it's because it looks like one (if you want to know what it is, ask someone else, I hate that word, here's a hint, it rhymes with hunt).
While I was there, I also tried on the boots, the dress shoes, and the work out attire.
Even though I don't like how some of the things look on me, I will get used to it. It's only six years of my life, and I can get used to wearing it (besides, everyone else has to wear it too). I am really excited... just 21 more days!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Getting Ready...

I have less than a month before I leave for basic training, and I am so proud of myself. I have come a really long way since I first started down this path. I started looking into joining in November, and after Thanksgiving, I was pretty much in. Since then, I have lost 20lbs. Something I once wouldn't be so sure I could do, I did. Now, I have less than a month left before I leave on March 24 (the day before my birthday). I am 10lbs away from my goal wait, and I'm pretty sure that I can get there... and in a healthy way by losing about a half a pound everyday.
I know that this last month is going to be the toughest for me, because I get all of these crazy cravings and the pressure is going to be ridiculous, but with a lot of discipline, I know I can do this.
I'm going to start going back to the gym everyday, and instead of running on the treadmill, I'm going to run on the track for 30 minutes straight and see how many laps I can get (this will give me a feel for the running I'm going to be enduring in basic). Each day, I'm going to push myself to get half a lap farther than the day before. Also, my gym has these total fitness classes that I'm going to go to so that I can tone up a little more before I leave.
Not only am I going to be strict with my new work out routine, I'm going to be super strict with my eating habits. Breakfast will continue the same as usual, a bagel with butter, yogurt, and juice. Lunch will be different... no more mini pizzas or stuffed potatoes... beans and rice, bean burritos, my meatless chicken nuggets... anything that is high in protein and fibers. Also in between those two meals, I'm going to make sure that I'm getting plenty of water, at least 3 bottles in between meals.
For dinner, I'm going to eat something light, for instance, a light pasta (that will give me an extra boost of energy in the morning). I will also make sure that I don't get done eating any later than 8:00 pm, my body needs plenty of time to adjust. I'm also going to make sure that I get my full 8 hours of sleep.
I'm going to be really strict with myself, and whenever I'm craving something sweet, I'm going to either eat yogurt, fresh fruit, or drink 100% fruit juice (when I'm in basic, I won't be able to have any of that sugary stuff anyways, so it's best to start the discipline now).
I have never been more excited for anything in my life, and I am counting down until it is time for me to leave. I know that this is the career path that was meant for me, everything just falls into place and makes so much sense. When I get out in six years, all of this experience is going to be on my resume, and I'm going to be so much more mature and disciplined than I am already, and it is going to look really good, and a good public relations firm will want to hire me.
I can already see some change just looking back on my older blog posts, and I hope to continue in a good way.
All of this just goes to show that if you want something bad enough and you put the effort into it, it can and will happen for you, so don't give up.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Random Story

I think it's exciting to show someone something new, something they may have never experienced before, today I did just that.
In the spirit of trying to get along with people and make a bad situation better, I took my sister's friend to Sonic.
This girl came from the wilderness of North Dakota (all of North Dakota is wilderness), and they don't have a Sonic there... she missed out on a great thing in life (my sister and I both love this place... it's amazing).
Anyways, as much as we love Sonic, there's always some kind of problem at the one that is in our area, they are always running out of something or the other, or some machine is broke, and sometimes it just sucks really bad (it's because it is the only Sonic location in the area, and people love it and are always coming there, so of course they're going to be low on stuff... but that means they should either build a new one or order twice as much as they usually do... especially now that it's getting nice out).

Today was no exception. When we were ready to order our food, I wanted the Ched 'R' Bites, but they were out and only had the mozzarella cheese sticks (last time it was the other way around), my sister wanted peach tea, but they were out of peach flavor so she got an apple strawberry limeade instead (she did not like it), her friend was able to get what she wanted.
They brought us our food, we payed for it, everyone was happy... we had made a new convert to the love of Sonic. After we were done, eating, my sister's friend and I decided to get some desert, she wanted the M&M Sonic Blast but they were out of M&M's so she got Reese's instead. I wanted the banana split, and they had it, I was happy.
The carhop dropped her ice cream on the way to another car, we laughed (we didn't know it was hers at the time). Then the carhop came over to my car and we realized it was my sister's friend's ice cream, but luckily my banana split was ok. The guy explained that they were out of ice cream so he gave us the money back for my sister's friend's ice cream. She decided she hates Sonic, so now we lost our convert lol.
The ice cream never got picked up from the parking lot, so cars kept running over it and every time it made a popping noise. Meanwhile, I was in the car enjoying my banana split and I made sure to let her know how good it tasted. Also, while I was enjoying my banana split, there were a lot of cars pulling up and going through the drive-thru and they would order ice cream and then be shot down.
That made my day, I got ice cream and no one else did. Hahahahahahahaha!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Mistakes From The Past

Earlier tonight, I was talking to a friend from high school, and we were talking about people we used to hang out with and where their lives have led them now. When I was in high school, I wasn't exactly the smartest girl. I dated this guy who was simply put... a bad guy. Everybody warned me about him and told me how he was always cheating on me and he always talked bad about me.
I was naive, and I wouldn't listen. Instead, I would sneak out of my house, I would ditch my friends, I would lie to my parents, most of all I would lie to myself. Eventually, I was able to get myself out of that situation. It was hard, and it took a lot to build back the trust my parents had lost in me and the friendships I had lost, but in the end it was worth it.
Anyways, as I was talking to my friend, she was telling me that this guy I dated hadn't changed for the better. He is heavy into drugs and has a kid with another on the way, and he's not exactly living anywhere decent. The guys he used to hang out with (for whatever disgusting reason, I was attracted to them too) aren't doing very good either. One of his friends got kicked out of his parents because he was a big druggie and they didn't want him around his little sister being a bad influence. Another one got really big into drugs too, supposedly he's cleaned up now, but he's living in the ghetto. One of his really good friends has been in and out of jail.
I look back on all of that and wonder how I ever survived. Not only that, I am sooooooooo thankful that I never ended up getting involved with any of them any further... if I would, I may not be in the situation I am now. Things could always be worse... and right now more things than not have been going my way. Of course there are some things that I don't like and don't want to deal with, but that is a part of life.

I Need to Vent

Before you read any farther, if you don't like hearing other people vent... don't read this blog, thanks:)
At the current moment, I am living with my parents (the fact that I am almost 23 years old makes this something I'm not exactly happy with), and they went out of town Valentine's Day weekend to go pick up one of my sister's friends... who is now staying with us.
It doesn't sound so bad, but let me give you a little background and then you can understand my frustrations. First of all, this girl is 18 years old (meaning she is a legal adult and honestly she shouldn't have to be our responsibility). This girl also comes from a really bad family background.. her parents are split up, her mom's new boyfriend hates her and kicked her out, her brothers are white trash as can be (one of them molested her when she was little) and that's who she had to move in with after she got kicked out, she failed high school and was unable to graduate, and she has bipolar disorder.

It's horrible, no one should have to go through that, no one should have to experience stuff like that in their lifetime... no matter who they are. Hearing that, one would think, wow, that's really nice to take her in and try to give her a new chance at life, but here's the thing: she is now 18 years old, even if my parents wanted to, they couldn't legally adopt her. She is not a relative of us, she was a friend of my sister (who by the way, wasn't even keeping in touch with her, she only started talking to her again a few months ago). This girl never had nice things, and the things she did have, she didn't take care of... so therefore, our nice things will not be taken care of. Since this girl is now 18 (yes I keep emphasising that, because I'm sorry, but she shouldn't have to be our responsibility), she is no longer on her parents' insurance, so therefore, we have to figure out some kind of insurance for her to get on.
I tried talking to my parents and my sister about all of these things, trying to tell them that it's not a very good idea to bring her here, but no one would listen to me. All they did was yell at me and tell me that it was not my decision to make. Then, when they were planning the actual trip, nobody bothered to tell me or talk to me about it until I asked about it a couple days before they were supposed to leave, then that was the end of it, I had no say.
When they got back on Monday, things weren't so bad, and I even started to think that maybe I had been a little jealous. I started to think that maybe I should make the best out of this situation and make sure that I treat her the way that I would want to be treated if I was in her situation. I helped her and my sister set up the guest bedroom and do her laundry. Then I went with them to the store to make sure that they had all the things they needed (toiletries, and food and stuff).
Tuesday, my sister went back to school, and it was just me and her friend. We worked out together and meditated together, and even put face masks on together. Wednesday was the same thing and I was beginning to think that maybe I had overreacted a little bit. Thursday, I had a meeting with my recruiter (I'm going into the Air force in case I forgot to mention... also explaining my previous vent in "the loss of a friend") and I took her and my sister with me, and then we went to the mall afterwards. While we were at the mall, she was fine, just texting and being quiet (normal), but then we ran into one of my sister's friends from school and she walked with us. Well then my sister's friend who is now staying with us started getting really hyper and acting like a little kid. She would stomp her feet around and run and yell and mess with the clothes on the racks, it was embarrassing, and it was the kind of behavior that could get us kicked out of a store.
As I may have mentioned before, I live in Utah, and it is a very judgemental, narrow minded area, and she thought that the looks she was getting in the mall were because of her lip rings (that may have been the case if she was somewhere else like a restaurant or someplace nice, but at the mall, there are many people with all kinds of piercings), but everyone else knew it wasn't. Then this girl got mad because she kept "getting all of these looks" so she started to be even more obnoxious and make a big deal about everything just because she wanted to prove a point.

We ended up leaving and going home, I wasn't able to voice all of my frustrations, because this girl is always around and everybody else in my family wanted her to come to our house.
Friday, I was going about my normal morning routine (which wasn't so nice this time because she was having problems with her long distance girlfriend and I had to hear all the drama about her and her friends, and it was just stupid and annoying), and at 12:00pm I get a call from my mom telling me that I need to take this girl to Job Corps at 2:00pm so she can get a tour of the school. This really pissed me off, because up until then, no one had said anything to me and as far as I knew I was supposed to pick my sister up from school at 2:30pm... and now that wouldn't work because I'd be all the way at Job Corps, and now I'd have to figure something out for my sister.
My mom said she would meet me somewhere and then I could drop my sister's friend off and then go pick up my sister. When I went to go pick up my sister, I couldn't take it anymore and just started venting to her. She told me she was sorry and that she was starting to feel the way (again, I knew that would happen too, when we lived in North Dakota, they were always fighting, and they weren't the greatest of friends then). She told me that she wished she could say something to my parents, but since she was the one pushing for all of this, obviously she couldn't. I told her that I wished I could say something, but I couldn't because I voiced all of my concerns before they went to go get this girl and I got yelled at, there's nothing I can do now but listen to everyone complain (which they all do because they are all getting frustrated with this situation... like I knew they would).
Not only that, my mom is a very two-faced person, she will act like she is your best friend to your face, and then she will talk so much crap behind your back (she even does that with her own family.. she's just a really bitter person). So she will whine and complain about all of the problems and complications caused from my sister's friend behind her back (and I have to listen to it and not say anything), and then when that girl is around my mom will be like "Oh, I just want you to feel at home, take your time getting used to things."

And another thing (sorry, I'm almost done), Every time I leave the house or go to bed, I always tell my family I love them. My sister's friend one night said that she loved me and I didn't say it back (I'm sorry but I don't even say it to my best friends and I only say it to my immediate family, I don't say it to my aunts or uncles or grandparents... I just don't). My mom ended up getting mad at me and told me that I needed to stop having attitude and I need to say it back... umm sorry, no.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

25 Random Things About Me

1. I love to work out
2. I'm a health food freak
3. I'm constantly trying to improve myself
4. I meditate daily
5. I like getting manicures and pedicures
6. I procrastinate too much
7. I have never been in love... close but not quite
8. I will be successful and have everything I need and want
9. I wear sexy lingerie to feel better about myself
10. I love sleeping under the stars on a big trampoline
11. I love to dance... I just suck at it
12. I am a huge Britney Spears fan
13. I am majorly into fashion
14. I like to read
15. My closet is ALWAYS organized.. even if the rest of my room is chaotic
16. I love cleaning my house and doing the laundry
17. I HATE feet
18. I don't drink soda
19. I have to sleep with my door and closets closed
20. I only want 2 kids
21. I'm the best thing that could ever happen to you... and possibly the worst
22. I am the most loyal and trustworthy friend you will ever have
23. I love going to the movies
24. I like long walks on the beach
25. I don't like to hug people

"Seein' Red" - Unwritten Law

1. Put your iPod on shuffle (Or whatever you have)
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

"Truth" - Seether
"Are You With Me" -Vaux
"[untitled]" - Sugarcult
"Dear Maria, Count Me In" - All Time Low
"Bound" - Disturbed
"Once Again" - The Hanks
"Take a Drink" - Quietdrive
"Gun in Hand" - Stutterfly
"Smile for the Paparazzi" - Cobra Starship
"Summer Nights" - Little Rob
"Grand Theft Autumn" - Fall Out Boy
"Big Machine" - Goo Goo Dolls
"There's Never Enough Time" - The Postal Service
"Bite to Break Skin" - Senses Fail
"What Have You Done For Me Lately" - Janet Jackson
"My Immortal" - Evanesence
"Jellyhead" - Crush
"Voodoo" - Godsmack
"Crutch" - Matchbox 20
"Doctor Jones" - Aqua
"Out From Under" - Incubus
"Think Big" - Dave Melillo
"Your Guardian Angel"- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
"Seein' Red" - Unwritten Law

Yogurt Face Mask

The other day I brought some plain yogurt home in the hopes of using it for a face mask. When hearing this idea, a lot of people laugh, but the truth is, yogurt is really good for your skin.
People laugh at me and think that I'm crazy, and maybe I am, but they won't be laughing when they see how nice my face looks.
That's all:)

Losing A Friend

No one ever said life would be easy. No one ever said things would be perfect. Sometimes, when you're at your highest point in life... you get knocked right back down to reality, you start to see things for what they really are, you find out who your real friends are.
Recently, I found out that someone I thought was a very good friend to me was no such thing. Even though I am no longer friends with this person, I am going to keep her name annonomous because she still deserves that much.
A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with my friend and we came upon the subject of the military. She was telling me that she doesn't believe people in the military are heroes. She thinks that people who go in are brainwashed, and if they die while overseas at war that's their own fault because they made the decision to go over there in the first place.
This was very offensive to me because my dad is in the military, and he's been overseas, he fought for our country, and he has been in a long time. I admire and respect him for that, I admire and respect the rest of the people in our military fighting for our country.
Whether you believe we should be at war or not, whether you agree with all of the things the president commands or not, think of this... if we didn't have a military, we'd have an unprotected country, we'd probably be under leadership of another country. Not only that, but all of those people you hear bashing our country talking about how bad it is or how bad our government is, wouldn't be able to have those opinions outloud.
Where do you think freedom of speech comes from? It certaintly wasn't made possible by a bunch of people sitting around on their asses, it was made possible because people went out and fought for our freedom. People came together and fought together-- what happened?
Another thing, if our country is such a horrible place, how come we have all of these people coming over to make a better life for themselves? How come we have illegal immigrants from Cuba, Mexico, and Puerto Rico? How come we don't have people fleeing America to go to those places? How come we don't have Americans climbing the fences and risking their lives to get to Mexico? Or swimming and floating on rafts to get to Puerto Rico?
I'm not saying that those places are horrible either, but I'm just saying... you don't see people fleeing America trying to make a better life in another country, instead you hear them whining and complaining about what a horrible place it is.
Anyways, enough of that subject, I could go on and on. But when my friend was telling me that she felt that way about the military, it just shocked me. I told her I couldn't be friends with someone that felt that way. I never have been and I can't.
I am a very open minded person and I'm all for people having their own thoughts and beliefs, but for someone to be so ignorant to go and diss our country and call it such a horrible place and not even try to make a positive difference (whining and complaining is not making a positive difference).. I can't be around someone like that.
Comments anyone? I want to know what people think.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Never Again...

I am never eating donuts or chocolate covered pretzels again. I ate them yesterday, when I went to the gym, I felt like I was going to vommit all over the place.
Never again.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Filling Up Time

I'm a little upset with myself. This past week I didn't work out at all, and I've been giving into bad food cravings. At the same time, I think I needed the brake. Even though I wasn't working out, I was doing things for me. Every day in my email, I get fung shui tips and I save them, because I know that someday some of those tips will come in handy. One of the tips I got one time sounds a little crazy and maybe a little unrealistic, but it said, "if you're trying to change your outlook on life, try washing your windows."
People hear that and laugh, and I admit, it does sound a little crazy, but I tried it anyways. Honestly, I felt a little better about the way I percieved things. Another tip I got one time was, "If you're looking to increase your love life, move your bed away from the wall with enough space to walk." I'm not looking for serious relationships right now, but I am looking to spice things up. I am looking to improve my social life with the boys, and funny thing is, things have improved.

I had a friend on myspace for sometime, but we really never talked. One night I was online and he was online, and we started talking. We made plans to hang out and we ended up going to Grand Torino (I like to remember little details.. it makes life more interesting that way). We had such a good time that we planned on hanging out again the next weekend. This time, we went out to eat and then a movie. He payed for dinner, I payed for the movie (Texas Roadhouse and my Bloody Valentine... I've never seen a 3D movie, and I live in Utah, it's not like there's much to choose from in the restaraunt business).
Anyways, when things go really good, there's usually strings attatched... strings like the fact that he would be leaving for Iraq soon. I really liked hanging out with him and he was deffinately not a boring person, but I didn't want to do anything to lead him on in any way. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, he would be gone for 6 months, and what if someone met someone.. you know? So I turned into a nice little Utah girl and wouldn't let him kiss me (Utah will be the death of me... my exciting social life anyways lol).
The following Monday was his last night in town, so we hung out all day. We went to Ifly (a flight stimulater where you get to fly.. sorta..., then we got ice cream, then we went to the mall, and then we went to go see Deffience in theatres. It was a good day, I had a lot of fun, and would be sad to see him go... but such is life so I moved on.

Last night, my neighbor, Jamie (the girl lol), called me and asked me what I was up to and if I wanted to hang out with a couple of guys. I told her I didn't have anything planned and that they better be hot guys or I'm going home. She assured me that they were hot. I got ready and went over next door. The guys weren't hot, but they were attractive, so I stayed. There was something very familiar about these guys, but I couldn't figure it out. We went and played laser tag and then we went over to one of the guy's house to play video games and watch a movie.
I finally figured it out. I had met these boys before. My sister and I were at a college halloween dance, and they actually came up to us. When I told them how I knew them, it finally clicked with them (apparently I had looked familiar and they couldn't figure out why).
So, that night wasn't too eventful, but now I have another guy to hang out with for the time being, and if nothing happens... well, I'm sure by then, I'll have met someone new.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Believing In Yourself

This is just a short post. Everyday, I'm on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I usually run 22 minutes and then I walk the rest of the time. Today, I had an extra burst of energy and ran for 30 minutes straight at the speed of 6mph without stopping or slowing down once.
I was really excited for this accomplishment because it's not easy. My new found indurance is amazing to me, and I plan to do it every day for the rest of this week, and then next week, I'm going to increase my speed to 6.5mph and see how long I can run.
I believed in myself, and now I am getting my body into great shape and building my indurance and stamina.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Taking My Life Back

For the past few months there have seemed to be things that were overwhelming. I had bills to pay, jobs to find, school to finish, the list could go on and on. Anyways, yesterday came to a breaking point. I have a New Year's resolution to get out of debt by 2010, and sitting around on my butt is not going to get this accomplished.
Yesterday, one of the jobs that I had applied for ran a credit check and came across some old debts that need to be settled. They told me that if I would like to work for them I need to set up some kind of a payment plan and have the first payment made by Monday (today is Friday just so you know).
I was worried, because for three months I wasn't working and I had bills that I had to catch up from then and other things that I had to take care of, and I really wasn't sure that I would be able to do it.
Then, I took a minute to just sit down and think about my options. My parents are very supportive about this job I applied for and are very excited for me to start working. This job is going to mean a lot of opportunity for me. I will finally be able to move out on my own and start doing things for myself. I decided to sit down and make a budget up that detailed all of the bills they have helped me with and how these present debts would factor in.
I have it shown about how much total it will be and I also have an idea that my paychecks can be deposited into my account and my parents can use it to take care of my bills.
I haven't exactly discussed this with them, but I'm pretty sure once I lay everything out for them, and they see how it will be put into effect, I think that they might actually be willing to help out.
Also, my positive thinking podcasts have really been helping me. Before, if I would have recieved this news, I would have broken down and probably given up, causing myself to go into deep depression. But now, I try and look at all positive aspects. I try and look at all of my options and see what I can fit into my life and make work for me. I'm sure my parents will be a little upset that I let things accumulate to what they are now, but they will always love and support me, and I know that they will allow me to work something out with them. I just have to be positive about this whole experience and know that it has taught me a lot.
Until I talk to my parents, I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Getting Rid of Negative Energy

One of my New Year's resolutions was to be more positive, and so far I've been doing pretty good. There's a meditation that I do everyday (also another one of my resolutions) about positive thinking... it motivates me to have a new way of thinking and look at all things in a positive way.
The other day I was talking to a friend... well I guess you could call him more of an acquaintance, and he was telling me how I need to start thinking about marriage, that I needed to start looking for guys that were into serious relationships instead of guys that were just looking for a "good time."
I explained to him that I'm only 22 and I still have a lot that I want to accomplish and do on my own... that I'm not ready to even think about getting married. The thing is, I live in Utah, and if you're not married with a family by the time you're my age, there is something wrong with you. I don't think there's anything wrong with me, I just need some me time, when I'm ready to settle down I'll start thinking about it and looking for the type of guy that would be good for me to settle down with.
Well, my "acquaintance" wouldn't really listen. He asked me what was so important that I couldn't accomplish without someone else. Not only that, he started telling me things that were wrong with me and telling me that all of these things are why guys around here haven't been interested in me. He told me that because I was into fashion that I wasn't going to find a decent guy.

This really upset me, just because I'm into fashion doesn't mean that's all I know and that I can't find a decent guy. I have a lot of interests other than fashion. I'll go on the occasional hike, I'm into working out, so I know a lot about health stuff and gym stuff. I'm adventurous and am willing to try most things. I listen when guys talk to me and I listen to them tell me about their hobbies and interests and try to learn more. So this guy had no right telling me that I wasn't going to be good enough for a good guy... just because he's not into fashion.
As I was talking to him last night, I realised that this guy was not a good person for me to talk to. I'm sure he had good intentions and wasn't meaning to be so harsh, but I need to figure out my life on my own, I don't need someone else around to pick it apart and make me feel bad about myself.
When I hung up, I decided that I'm not going to talk to this person anymore, I don't need someone messing up my positive energy. I also went through my phone and deleted anybody else that I thought made me feel that way. This year is a new start for me and I want to attempt to keep all if not most of my New Year's resolutions, and the positive thinking one is really important to me.

On a brighter note, I've been doing really good with working out everyday and getting back into shape. I've been keeping a food journal so I can keep track of what I'm doing right and what I might want to work on. Every month, I meet with some friends that are doing the same thing as far as working out and getting in shape, and I share my strategies with them and take from them what I can get to better myself. I have a feeling that even though my New Year's didn't play out how I was hoping that this is going to be a very good year for me because I'm going to make it that way.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Beginning of a New Year

One of my New Year's resolutions was to learn a new word everyday. Today's word is "quotidian" which basically means routine, and in order to learn my new word, I'm going to use it in a sentence.
I have a new exercise quotidian that consists of running 30 minutes everyday and doing pushups and sit-ups every other day.
So far my new year has been good. I woke up this morning and had a healthy breakfast which I recorded in my food journal. Then, I meditated for 25 minutes on positive thinking (it's really helpful), then I had a cup of green tea (it was delicious). Also, I'm keeping up with my resolutions and working on writing more blogs, some will be boring, but I'm sure that some will be interesting... seems to happen every now and then.
I'm about to go start my quotidian, beginning with exercise, then I'm going to do some cleaning around the house, so I can keep up with my resolution to keep my house and my room clean.
If anything exciting happens today, I'll let you know (but don't hold your breath).