Sunday, February 22, 2009

I Need to Vent

Before you read any farther, if you don't like hearing other people vent... don't read this blog, thanks:)
At the current moment, I am living with my parents (the fact that I am almost 23 years old makes this something I'm not exactly happy with), and they went out of town Valentine's Day weekend to go pick up one of my sister's friends... who is now staying with us.
It doesn't sound so bad, but let me give you a little background and then you can understand my frustrations. First of all, this girl is 18 years old (meaning she is a legal adult and honestly she shouldn't have to be our responsibility). This girl also comes from a really bad family background.. her parents are split up, her mom's new boyfriend hates her and kicked her out, her brothers are white trash as can be (one of them molested her when she was little) and that's who she had to move in with after she got kicked out, she failed high school and was unable to graduate, and she has bipolar disorder.

It's horrible, no one should have to go through that, no one should have to experience stuff like that in their lifetime... no matter who they are. Hearing that, one would think, wow, that's really nice to take her in and try to give her a new chance at life, but here's the thing: she is now 18 years old, even if my parents wanted to, they couldn't legally adopt her. She is not a relative of us, she was a friend of my sister (who by the way, wasn't even keeping in touch with her, she only started talking to her again a few months ago). This girl never had nice things, and the things she did have, she didn't take care of... so therefore, our nice things will not be taken care of. Since this girl is now 18 (yes I keep emphasising that, because I'm sorry, but she shouldn't have to be our responsibility), she is no longer on her parents' insurance, so therefore, we have to figure out some kind of insurance for her to get on.
I tried talking to my parents and my sister about all of these things, trying to tell them that it's not a very good idea to bring her here, but no one would listen to me. All they did was yell at me and tell me that it was not my decision to make. Then, when they were planning the actual trip, nobody bothered to tell me or talk to me about it until I asked about it a couple days before they were supposed to leave, then that was the end of it, I had no say.
When they got back on Monday, things weren't so bad, and I even started to think that maybe I had been a little jealous. I started to think that maybe I should make the best out of this situation and make sure that I treat her the way that I would want to be treated if I was in her situation. I helped her and my sister set up the guest bedroom and do her laundry. Then I went with them to the store to make sure that they had all the things they needed (toiletries, and food and stuff).
Tuesday, my sister went back to school, and it was just me and her friend. We worked out together and meditated together, and even put face masks on together. Wednesday was the same thing and I was beginning to think that maybe I had overreacted a little bit. Thursday, I had a meeting with my recruiter (I'm going into the Air force in case I forgot to mention... also explaining my previous vent in "the loss of a friend") and I took her and my sister with me, and then we went to the mall afterwards. While we were at the mall, she was fine, just texting and being quiet (normal), but then we ran into one of my sister's friends from school and she walked with us. Well then my sister's friend who is now staying with us started getting really hyper and acting like a little kid. She would stomp her feet around and run and yell and mess with the clothes on the racks, it was embarrassing, and it was the kind of behavior that could get us kicked out of a store.
As I may have mentioned before, I live in Utah, and it is a very judgemental, narrow minded area, and she thought that the looks she was getting in the mall were because of her lip rings (that may have been the case if she was somewhere else like a restaurant or someplace nice, but at the mall, there are many people with all kinds of piercings), but everyone else knew it wasn't. Then this girl got mad because she kept "getting all of these looks" so she started to be even more obnoxious and make a big deal about everything just because she wanted to prove a point.

We ended up leaving and going home, I wasn't able to voice all of my frustrations, because this girl is always around and everybody else in my family wanted her to come to our house.
Friday, I was going about my normal morning routine (which wasn't so nice this time because she was having problems with her long distance girlfriend and I had to hear all the drama about her and her friends, and it was just stupid and annoying), and at 12:00pm I get a call from my mom telling me that I need to take this girl to Job Corps at 2:00pm so she can get a tour of the school. This really pissed me off, because up until then, no one had said anything to me and as far as I knew I was supposed to pick my sister up from school at 2:30pm... and now that wouldn't work because I'd be all the way at Job Corps, and now I'd have to figure something out for my sister.
My mom said she would meet me somewhere and then I could drop my sister's friend off and then go pick up my sister. When I went to go pick up my sister, I couldn't take it anymore and just started venting to her. She told me she was sorry and that she was starting to feel the way (again, I knew that would happen too, when we lived in North Dakota, they were always fighting, and they weren't the greatest of friends then). She told me that she wished she could say something to my parents, but since she was the one pushing for all of this, obviously she couldn't. I told her that I wished I could say something, but I couldn't because I voiced all of my concerns before they went to go get this girl and I got yelled at, there's nothing I can do now but listen to everyone complain (which they all do because they are all getting frustrated with this situation... like I knew they would).
Not only that, my mom is a very two-faced person, she will act like she is your best friend to your face, and then she will talk so much crap behind your back (she even does that with her own family.. she's just a really bitter person). So she will whine and complain about all of the problems and complications caused from my sister's friend behind her back (and I have to listen to it and not say anything), and then when that girl is around my mom will be like "Oh, I just want you to feel at home, take your time getting used to things."

And another thing (sorry, I'm almost done), Every time I leave the house or go to bed, I always tell my family I love them. My sister's friend one night said that she loved me and I didn't say it back (I'm sorry but I don't even say it to my best friends and I only say it to my immediate family, I don't say it to my aunts or uncles or grandparents... I just don't). My mom ended up getting mad at me and told me that I needed to stop having attitude and I need to say it back... umm sorry, no.

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